Life again

I don't know what the fucking secret is, how can people stay together really? I'm completely amazing, at first, and completely unbearable afterwards.

Lots of people around me day by day convincing themselves that they are who they think they are.

I may seem deorganized, messy even. No long term plans, overanalysing situations and concepts that will never have a tangible impact in my life. It may seem I'm a cripple, but I prefer this, to me it simply means that I am not convinced.

"Deep down you know you are empty, you'll end up feeling lonely and miserable", they will say; and of course the part of me that was spoonfed all of these society's conventions will agree and urge me to feel sorry about myself and unaccomplished. But all the power we are born with to be wielded is what we choose to believe, and the consequent behaviour we then choose to display. I will never stop wielding that power, and then I shall die to find out the truth, or maybe not, maybe I will find more questions, perhaps I will have completely different powers to be wielded, or maybe there will only be death.

Ya no quiero tomar dictado, pero tampoco me sé otra historia, ¿destinado al impasse y la inanición? ¿Llegará acaso la salina petrificación a mí? ¿O acaso ésta ya se ha consumado y en mi estado inerte no he podido percibir mi inmovilidad?